What If
by ImNotAPsychopath
Summary: Fem!Jim is kidnapped and Fem!Seb has to rescue her. I AM A TERRIBLE FEMALE. I CANNOT WRITE THEM. JIM/JANE IS TERRIBLE. Written with TheBustyBarmaid, who insists on torturing me with this because she loves it.


Sebrina was lying down on the couch face first, relaxing after a stressful day of sitting in one place. She turned the T.V. on to one of those older movies that no one really understood but watched anyway. Jane stumbled inside the living room, a blanket wrapped around her as she rubbed her eyes blearily. "Sebby?" She mumbled before stumbling onto the couch, laying on top of Sebrina.

"Yeah, Jane?" Sebrina asked, not looking up.

"What are you watching?"

"Some older movie. Didn't pay attention to the name."

"Hmm." Jane hummed before snuggling closer to Sebrina. "Sebby?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." Jane murmured.

Sebrina chuckled. "Love you too, Jane."

Jane hummed before her phone buzzed. She groaned before getting it out. "What?" She barked into it. Sebrina twisted to watch Jane's face. Jane gave Sebrina a quick kiss before glaring at the ceiling as she continued listening to the person. "Well, get it taken care of then!" She snapped.

"Who screwed up?"

Jane held up a finger before growling into the phone. "I don't care how it's done, just do it!" She snarled before snapping the phone shut and burrowing against her sniper. "All of them are idiots." She hissed.

Sebrina lay there for a moment before replying, "Yes, they never get things done right." She sighed.

"Not like you do." Jane smiled before hugging her.

She smiled, "I'm the best. No-one else compares.

"I'm the best though." Jane grinned.

"And that's why I work for you. And only you." Sebrina grinned back.

Jane laughed before closing her eyes and snuggling closer to Sebrina. "I love you, Sebby."

"Love you, too." Sebrina turned back to her movie, enjoying the warm weight on her back.

Jane hummed before looking over at the T.V. "I'm bored."

"You usually are." She smiled. "Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

"I already did."

"Did you get any?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Mhm. Promise."

"Alright." Sebrina wasn't sure whether or not to trust her boss, she was constantly worrying over her health. Sebrina was mostly worried that she never seemed to get enough sleep.

Jane hummed again before yawning slightly. "I'm still sleepy…"

"Then get some more rest." Sebrina twisted and pulled Jane to lay down in front of her, held securely so she wouldn't fall off the couch. She rested her chin on Jane's head and began to rub her back soothingly.

Jane hummed before burrowing into Sebrina's side. "Mkay." She murmured before closing her eyes. Sebrina found the remote and turned the T.V. to mute before humming soft songs to Jane, hoping they'd both get some sleep tonight. Jane finally drifted off into a easy sleep. After Jane finally relaxed and her breathing evened out, Sebrina followed her into a light sleep, smiling.

A call woke up Jane and she answered her phone drowsily. "What?" Sebrina stirred beneath her, and looked up groggily. "Fine. Since I have to come in, just know, that I'm going to kill someone." She hung up the phone then got up. "I have to go in."

"Will you need me?" Sebrina watched her boss disappear into their room. She started to disentangle herself from the blanket.

Jane shook her head. "No." She walked back into the bedroom. "Seb, where's my chest bind?"

"Try the first drawer on the left. I think that's where I last saw it." Sebrina flopped back down on the couch.

A few minutes later, Jane emerged, looking like the exact copy of her male self. "There. Have Riley come get me." She went into her office.

Seb scrambled to find her phone and texted Riley. "He's on his way, boss!" She yelled on her way to the bathroom. She emerged wearing her best intimidation outfit, a tight shirt that accented her muscles and boobs with a pair of cargo pants that hid an assortment of weapons for later use.

Jane came back out. "Thanks, Tiger." She murmured distantly before putting on her cufflinks and tying her favorite skull tie and placing a fox tie pin in the middle.

"Anytime."

A few minutes passed before a series of knocks came on the door and Jane opened it to see her favorite driver. "Riley~" She cooed in her man voice before hugging him. "Sebby's being a bad tiger and getting jealous when I'm hugging men." She pouted before shooting Sebrina a sly wink.

Sebrina growled convincingly, but her eyes shone mischievously. "Jim…" She stalked forward.

Jane gave a manly shriek before darting away, giggling as Sebrina chased her. "Can't catch me, Tiger!"

Sebrina swiftly caught her and whispered in her ear, "Can't run from a Tiger, darling."

Jane squirmed before huffing and pouting. "Can too."

Riley laughed. "Apparently not, sir."

Jane gave a sly grin before sliding out of Sebrina's grip and jumped into Riley's arms, kissing him pointedly. "Checkmate, Tiger." She purred.

Sebrina looked sternly at Riley, raising an eyebrow, hands on her hips. "Riley, I believe that you have something of mine, and I want him back."

Riley looked at her in a daze. "Excuse me, sir?"

"My boss, please."

Riley blushed. "Sorry, sir." He coughed before handing over a pouting Jane.

"I win, my darling." She whispered in her ear. "Now go wreak havoc. I'll follow soon." She kissed her temple and placed her gently on her feet.

Jane hugged Sebrina before skipping out. "Come along, Riley~" She sang and he followed after giving Sebrina a nod. "Sir." He mumbled, cheeks bright red.

"No harm done." Sebrina grinned feraly and walked back into the bathroom to finish getting ready for the day.

Jane woke up blearily and it took her only a moment for her to register just exactly what had happened. She had gotten in the car, Riley had been shot, then she had been drugged. Now she was tied to a chair with tight rope she had no chance of getting loose from and in a dark place. She rolled her eyes. At least they hadn't gagged her. It would only add to the cliche.

"Hello, Mr. Moriarty." A deep voice rumbled. "Or should I say Ms. Moriarty? She narrowed her eyes in the direction the voice came from.

"It's sir to you." She hissed in her man voice.

"Oh, I think we both know you're female."

"I am not."

"So you're willing to prove it?"

"I shouldn't have to!" Jane snapped. "I am your boss and I-"

A large hand connected with her face and her head snapped to the side. Her eye twitched. "Shut up!" The man roared.

She glared at him dangerously. "You're going to regret that when my Tiger comes." She purred, leering at him with an insane grin. "And she's coming soon." She cackled.

Sebrina entered the office she knew Jane was coming to today, only to find Riley, Jane, and her car missing. Her eyes got wide and she bolted from the office, ringing for Riley's phone. She followed the route back to their apartment, checking every alley and car until she found the right one. She only had a matter of time.

Sebrina finally found Riley. His pulse was thready and almost gone. She quickly sent out a text for the med team and shook his shoulder. Trying to get him to wake.

He blinked his eyes open drowsily. "Se- Sebrina?" He whispered. "They took him. They took Jim."

"Damn it! I was afraid of that. Who did it?" She pressed down harshly on his wound.

"I don't know." Riley whimpered.

"C'mon, Riley, he needs you right now. I have to find him." She pushed down harder on his wound. "Where in fuck are those medics?"

"Here, sir. Let us take care of him." Sebrina relinquished Riley to the medics so she could clean her hands then scour the car for clues. When she found Jane's phone, the screen lit up with a text. She smiled grimly and picked out some of her favorite guns from the trunk of the car. This guy was going to pay.

Jane counted the ceiling tiles just like Sebrina taught her to do when she was on the verge of one of her psychotic breaks. _One. Two. Three. _Even her own sniper didn't like it when Jane went crazy. Where was Sebrina? She didn't take this long usually. Oh well. Jane was sure she wouldn't be much longer.

Sebrina finally infiltrated the compound, sure that she had killed enough guards to find Jane with ease. She tore through the hallways, killing more guards as she went. Chaos and death following her with every step.

Jane was starting to get bored. "Can I at least have a Rubik's cube or something?" She whined.

"Shut up, you dirty whore!"

She rolled her eyes but held her tongue. She was insane, not stupid.

Sebrina heard Jane whine. She smirked she knew she had the right room, then she heard a male voice insult _her_ boss. Growling, she snuck into the room and put her favorite glock to the man's head, rifle strapped over her shoulder. "Call my boss that again and you'll lose a limb."

"Sebby!" Jim beamed.

"On the ground, bastard."

The man hissed but did as he was told. "You bitch."

A shot hit the man in the thigh. Jane held a smoldering gun. "Don't call my Tiger that, you lowlife piece of shit." She hissed before turning to Sebrina with a bright smile. "What took you so long, Sebby?" Sebrina pushed the man bodily to the ground and frisked him for weapons.

"Move and I'll shoot. Again" She turned to free Jane, moving over to her swiftly but not before stepping on the man's delicate area on the way over. "So, boss, what did this idiot do to you?" She brought out her knife and cut the rope holding Jane to the chair, and went to stand over the man again.

"My question first." Jane pouted.

"Went into the office about an hour after you left, had to find the car, then take care of Riley. He's alive. Found your phone, then infiltrated."

Jane nodded. "So that's why you took so long." She rolled her head, cracking her neck. "I suppose I'll let it slide this time." She began to skip out. "He only slapped me a few times. They were weak, too. Do what you will." She waved her sniper off.

"We'll have to steal a car, boss. I ran here." Jane gave a groan before huffing. "Fine. You take care of this. I'll get the damn car." She muttered.

Sebrina calmed once Jane was out of the room before she turned to the man again. "Up on the chair, NOW!" She followed the man closely as he crawled to the chair and pulled himself up. "Explain yourself." She slapped him once. "NOW!" She slapped him again. Sebrina then took out her knife and began to fiddle with it. "What did you do to my boss?" She got up in his face. He looked at her startled and afraid, eyes wide. "Did you think you could run from me? Or did you discard me as a non-threat because I am female?" She ran her tongue along the edge of her blade before ramming it into his upper arm and slowly extracting it. "Hmm? I think it was because I'm a _girl._ Either way, I will enjoy this." He looked at her with pain and genuine _fear_ in his eyes. She grinned feraly and shot him in the he stomach as she left the room, chasing after Jane.

Jane leaned against the car lazily. "Tiger, you're getting slow~"

She laughed and ran a bloody hand through her hair. "I was having too much fun." She grinned cheekily.

Jane sighed and handed Sebrina a handkerchief. "Clean up before you touch me with those hands."

"Of course." She took the cloth and cleaned up her hands as much as possible.

Jane smiled before cracking her neck. "Bored." She growled.

Sebrina raised an eyebrow. "And how do you propose I fix that?"

Jane shrugged. "Don't know. Don't care." Sebrina grinned again, then swooped down to kiss her fiercely. Making sure not to touch Jane with her hands. Jane blinked in shock before gaping at Sebrina. Sebrina shrugged. "Adrenalin." Jane nodded, accepting that before swinging into the car. Sebrina grinned again before hopping into the driver's seat and speeding off.


End file.
